Cookies, Followed with a Side of Lemonade
by Wendy Waddles
Summary: Who keeps pounding at his door? Girl Scouts? How will he get rid of them and who will feel his wrath over the matter? A short tale that starts out most humorous and ends with a tasty splash of lemonade for Severus and his lucky love.


**Cookies, Followed with a Side of Lemonade**

Severus Snape had quickly popped by the shabby little house on Spinner's End to retrieve a few items. Before leaving, he stepped into the living room, sweeping it with a glance. Quickly and purposefully he extracted three leather-bound volumes from various shelves. That was everything he'd wanted to take back home with him. Turning on the spot, he made ready to leave when it happened.

A loud, singsong knocking ensued upon his front door. His brow knit and his black glinting eyes sharpened at the sound while waiting for it to stop and whoever it was to go away. He did not want to be bothered now and chose to ignore it. Yet it persisted, growing louder, becoming almost violent bangs and thumps now.

"For the love of God, go away!" he barked under his breath.

He certainly wasn't expecting anyone. No one ever came and at least not anyone who was wholly uninvited.

Severus waited a long minute.

Silence.

He closed his black eyes. Ahh... Gone. The peace and quiet resumed. And lasted half a minute.

Now came the assorted tapping and pounding of what could only be explained by multiple hands beating upon his door. His long, lean fingers grew white as he rigidly gripped the books he held in his hands.

Who the hell could it possibly be, going on and on, so insanely like this? The books were dropped unceremoniously into the shabby armchair as he whipped out his wand to cast a listening charm at the door.

Whoever they were, they sounded quite young. And giggly. It was the dead of summer, no where near Halloween for those rotten little treaters he'd heard about. So he listened for several long moments.

"Told you Angie, we shouldn't be doing this!" said the first voice.

"Oh, come on Sallie, don't tell me you actually believe Martin's stories about this house?" asked a second voice.

"What stories?" piped in a third shrill-sounding voice.

"Calm down Nikki. They're just a bunch of stupid rubbish."

"But- but...what? I wanna know," the third voice whined.

"Shhh...." the first voice was speaking again and dropped to a loud whisper. "Some of the kids say this house is haunted."

"Then why are we here? Let's get, now!" shrieked the third voice.

"Because I don't believe them," spoke the second voice.

"Oh honestly Ang, quite trying to be so friggin' brave all the time."

"Sal, come on, do you really believe a ghost lives in there?"

"Well no - maybe it's an old nasty miser or some stinky hermit?"

"And that's nothing to be scared of. If so, he might even welcome our stuff."

Severus' lip curled as an idea took formation in his head. He would have a few minutes of fun with these twerps before heading back home. Stowing his wand back into his pocket, he crossed silently to the door. Settling his face into its most formidable and ferocious glare, he yanked the door wide open, swooping forward in a most bat-like manner.

"Yes?" he snarled acidly through his teeth, looking down his long nose most irritably at them.

Each of the little girls inched backward and shivered slightly.

"Umm...." squeaked the smallest of the three.

"Ready? One, two, three!" said the brown curly-headed one.

And all at once, the three brats broke out into song.

_"Buy our cookies,_

_They are sweet,_

_Should you ever_

_want a tasty treat!_

_They are cheap,_

_and you can spare,_

_money for us_

_Girl Scouts fair!_

_So how many do you want?_

_We can make change you silly chump!"_

It was horridly sung, didn't really rhyme and was oddly reminiscent of an old muggle childhood ditty – _Twinkle, Twinkle something or other_.

Oh. God. No. What had he just done in answering the door? There was no stopping the flood of verbal vomit that spewed forth out of these three most vexing and irksome urchins in uniforms.

"Hi mister. Took you long enough to answer, ya know," said the curly brown-haired one.

"We're selling cookies for our troop this year. Very tasty!" continued the straight brown-hair child.

"How many boxes would you like to buy?" whispered the tiny one, most timidly.

"None," came his sharp reply as he backed up, attempting to shut the door on them, but unitedly, the three little fuckers stepped forward, hands outstretched while the straight-haired girl defiantly stuck her foot straight out at the middle of the door, stopping its advance.

The curly-haired one stood taller, smiled falsely and replied, "Only one, did you say?"

Then together they all forced the most despicable pouts onto their faces.

A small giggle came from the tiny one as she shyly said, "Sir, you look like you could use a few more than one."

Severus, now highly affronted, was ready to hex them into next week.

"Hey, your hair is really long and shiny for a boy. You use L'Oreal?" asked the curls.

"You always wear solid black and look so mean? I bet it's just an act," remarked the straight.

"Are you single, cause my mum is..." started the shrimp.

His eyes nearly bulged out of his head as he fought to contain the madness, raging inside him.

"Those questions are none of your business, you impertinent little imps!"

"Single _and_ uptight," chirped the curls.

It became utterly hopeless and useless. Ten minutes later, he had finally extracted the pack of vermin from upon his stoop, while now holding not one, but two boxes of revolting looking cookies. He snarled in disgust as the three brash ragamuffins skipped away, shouting things.

"We'll see you next summer, mister!"

"Thanks for buying our cookies!"

"You still wanna meet my mum?"

Completely fuming beyond belief, Severus slammed the door, gathered the books from the chair and apparated away, reappearing on the porch of a tranquil stone cottage. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself before someone else ended up taking the brunt of his foul mood. He let himself in the front door, strode into the spacious living room and deposited his armful into the closest plush armchair while muttering curses under his breath.

"Severus love – is that you?" came a most sweet voice from upstairs.

Hearing it, cut his irritation almost in half. Quickly he heard soft footsteps on the stairs, and watched in anticipation as Caterina graceful ran across the living room into his open arms. She was the absolute picture of pure gorgeousness in her pale pink strapless little excuse for a sundress.

She softly touched his cheek and asked, "Why the harsh scowl, dear?"

Caterina followed his gaze down to the chair, taking notice right away of the two cookie boxes. She let out a little snicker and cocked her head up to face him.

"So they caught up with you finally?" she giggled.

He let out a snort, "What do you mean, 'finally'? Do you know something you're not telling me?"

"Why ever would you think such a thing? I most certainly would never send any poor unsuspecting little troops your way."

But Caterina couldn't help to wink most devilishly at him.

Severus leaned dangerously close to her ear and growled, "We'll see about that, but in the mean time, I believe that someone most certainly needs to be punished for it. And I know exactly what I'm going to do."

"Is that a fact?"

Severus roughly twirled her around and pushed her toward the back of the huge fluffy, comfortable couch. He kept himself firmly pressed up behind her while she half-heartedly struggled against his grasp, laughing all the while.

"I don't find it funny at all," he breathed out into her ear in a velvety deep and rich voice.

Caterina covered a hand over her mouth trying to repress her giggles. She felt his hands moving behind her and then she heard a soft clanging of metal. Suddenly, she was very aware that her sundress was swiftly being lifted up to her waist. There came a sharp swat of leather against her plump bottom.

She turned her head to give Severus a sideways glance and defiantly stuck out her tongue at him, "Didn't hurt."

Severus growled into her ear again as she soon felt her black lace panties being ripped in two. They were flung to the floor and followed with a second sharper swat and then a third.

"How about that time?" he whispered low and seductively at her ear.

All she could do was close her eyes and moan softly in reply.

"That's what I thought."

His long fingers pulled the zipper down along the back of her dress and in a second, the sundress floated away into a pink puddle on the floor around her feet. Severus let out a sharp _tsk,_ dropping his belt now as well.

"It would appear, _Ms. Clarkstone_, that you forgot one of your essential undergarments while dressing this morning."

"Consider it one less article of clothing for you to contend with, love."

His long fingers traced elegantly over her silky smooth back and made their way aching slow around to the front to cup her large, exposed breasts. She moaned louder and arched her bare bottom into his now very hard erection. Caterina reached back and adeptly undid the button on his pants, as he dropped one hand down to force them off along with his boxers. With a sharp twist, she finally broke free from his grip and turned around to face him. Her hands quickly started working their way down the buttons of his shirt while he started at the bottom. Together they made very short work of removing the last clothing obstacle from between them.

Their warm, naked bodies quickly entwined together, he lifted her up and swiftly plunged her over the back of the couch as her legs locked tightly around his buttocks. Leaning down over her, he began to utterly ravish her.

For the next long while, the only sounds that could be heard were short wild pants, long pleasurable moans of lust, deep groans of extreme satisfaction and the rapid squeaking of the couch springs.

Finally, after another long, ardent kiss, Caterina mischievously asked, "So how about a cookie now, love?"

"Don't you dare!" he half snarled in mock anger.

She broke into giggles. "Maybe two then?"

"That's it! You asked for it. Onto round two. Let's see if the love seat is also in need of new springs."

"Oh, with pleasure."

With that, he flipped her up over his shoulder, while swatting her delicious bottom, wanting again to hear her wild squeals of delight. Then he tossed her onto the soft padded love seat, ready to engage in another highly steamy and titillating encounter with his sweet love.

* * *

A/N: Yes, this is just a silly little dribble of a tease that fits into my story about Severus and Caterina in A Place for My Heart. It actually takes place in that story sometime after chapter 28. I hope you thoroughly enjoyed this little sprinkle of humor and splash of lemonade involving them as I had a blast writing it! It started as a silly little idea stuck in my head one day... So what did you think? Thanks for reading! :)

This little piece is dedicated to Sallie, my wonderful beta reader and friend! Thanks for your hard work girl!


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